Maybe
by Lyson
Summary: L likes his tea really really sweet...maybe Matt could like his tea sweet too. Fluff Yaoi


**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**

* * *

**Maybe**

* * *

It was close to 2 am and gathered in the common room of Wammy's House, was L himself, along with his 3 successors. On rare occasions when L made an appearance at Wammy's and he wasn't drowning in cases, he would specifically set aside a time when he would sit with his protégé's.

He loved listening to them talk, he always sat wide eyed, in his usual fashion and only the smile on his face went between mildly amused to sometimes completely open and laughter in his deep baritone voice would bring smiles to all 3 boys.

Matt's games would be put away and his goggles abandoned since he had nothing to hide when they sat alone in front of a warm fire with milk, chocolate cookies and other sweets to snack on in abundance for L's insatiable sweet tooth.

Mello's aggressive behavior dulled to the occasional cuss word and all the leather was put away, leaving him in a T shirt and slacks with his hair tucked behind his ears.

Near would be without a toy or puzzle to distract him and he'd indulge himself with tea and sweet cakes as the hours passed.

The conversation was always stimulating, 4 genius minds never failed to have a topic to both analyze and pick apart or debate their strong educated opinions on. It was best for L when they all spoke amongst one another, he would interject the occasional comment or thought, but the rich voices and fluent non hostile speech between the three of them was a pleasure for him.

He knew of the problems they'd all had growing up, Mello's personal grudge toward Near, Matt's submissive behavior toward Mello and his all-around indifference to anything beyond the blonde, including the verbal and very seldom physical abuse on Near.

But as they grew they had matured.

Mello and Matt were 17 and Near 16, from what he'd learned through the evening of sitting in the room with them after a full year being away, was that Mello was still trying his hardest to succeed him and Near was doing what he did best, winning.

Matt was working, he'd learned from Roger before and even from Matt's own mouth that he'd taken up a simple and typical trade, web designing. He didn't blow anyone's mind with his tricks and knowledge, he preferred to just do excellent jobs and get paid in well.

Most of his spare money went to games and clothing since Matt was a bit of a brand junkie, but the rest of it was apparently blown on Mello. Expensive gifts and the like.

L watched them carefully, being this age he knew he might be able tp determine what was actually between them, something that might hint there was a lack of a platonic limit to their relationship. They no longer shared a room though, that had stopped when they were halfway through their 16th years, all three of them had private bedrooms and bathrooms now. Only the best for his best.

L loved them all, he would try to keep them a secret for as long as his legacy didn't demand a follow up, to preserve their freedom, their happiness, their smiles.

He didn't have much of that if any at all and they were like his best friends, since he really wasn't old enough to have taken a parental role, their exemplary like mindedness made it easy to be that close to them without differences to acknowledge.

He sipped his tea and smiled when Mello threw and empty squashed cupcake wrapper at Near and mumbled 'shut up', he'd heard Near comment on Mello's clothing becoming less and less to wear while costing far more than before and just as expected, since Mello wouldn't let his irritation get the better of him, he brushed it off.

It was obvious enough that Near intended no harm and Mello had come to realize the difference between Near actually mocking him and Near just teasing, although with the apathy, it did take a genius to tell, Mello got lucky there.

Matt laughed but added nothing as he watched the other two boys both go on about nibbling and drinking their hot beverages and L looked to him,

"…You're strangely quiet, you used to use this time to bend our ears about your latest top scores and how very powerful your RPG characters are…"

Matt stared at him openly without the goggles, he seemed genuinely surprised that L could point out something so specific, it wasn't i's and t's specific but still, he never knew L paid attention to anything beside…Mello and Near, probably not even in that order.

His heart had beat a bit faster.

"Uh…I…haven't had much gaming time so nothing to tell." He averted his gaze and leaned forward on the couch to retrieve his hot chocolate from the table. L felt something was amiss but chose not to take on the subject when the other two were curious now too. Matt had always been the 'open' one who said what he wanted and never bothered to pretend or try too hard, so in a way, Mello and Near had grown to take Matt as just that.

L would allow him to hold some secrets and feelings, after all he valued his own privacy quite a bit.

Mello gave Matt a fleeting glance and then went on asking L what country he'd been in last and L obliged with a descriptive explanation of everything from the history and myths to the new infrastructure.

* * *

By just after 4 am, Near had been the first one to mumble that he was tired and Mello followed suit, L admitted too that he should use his time to sleep when on vacation to its best.

They all made their final chit chat and walked together to the large doors of the common room, the orange glow was turning darker as the fire was almost down to nothing so their shadows were cast along the walls.

"You know next time we should all sit around in the dark and tell spooky stories…" Mello suggested, his child like mind making an appearance. L smirked slightly but Near turned just after stepping out of the room,

"L…when will we see you again?" he asked.

The truth was that L had no idea, when they were 18, they'd be given the right to leave Wammy's with an income from L to support themselves whether or not they decided to work.

They'd probably end up scattered across the globe, although he deduced that Matt wouldn't stray far from Mello, Near most certainly would.

"I'm not quite sure, but I think it's safe to assume I'll have to make long distance trips since you'll all be travelling?" he turned the topic in a different more pleasant direction.

"I think we'll be in the states." Mello informed them glancing at Matt who smiled back slightly, just being included as he usually was to Mello's life plans.

"Near?" L asked as they walked slowly away from the common room down the empty hall, all the children were asleep on the upper floors.

"…I've never bothered to think about it, but I think I'd like to get passed the daunting idea of getting on a plane before I think of travelling abroad."

"You're afraid to fly, you're such a pansy!" Mello was combing a hand through his hair to unknot it and walking shoulder to shoulder with Matt.

"I simply don't agree with putting my life so completely in some lesser minded person's hands, who is technically using a joystick to control a large heavy metal frame while flying through the air incredibly fast, thousands of miles above land or water, which I might add is about the same as hitting concrete when at such a speed and from such a height, without a single guarantee that I will be alive…"

"Is that why you don't swim, you're scared to dive in from the high board?" it was a lame remark from Mello.

"No, I don't like chlorine…"

Even Matt rolled his eyes as Near went on and L smiled warmly to himself as he walked ahead of them, Mello snickering at Near's words while Near stated statistics and all that might be wrong with a plane to make it crash.

L glanced back and frowned when he found Matt had been looking at him and then turned his eyes away back to Mello and Near when he'd noticed. They climbed the stairs and L had to go a floor higher than them so he hugged all three of them and was tempted to kiss their foreheads like he used to when they weren't teenagers, but he refrained, bidding them goodnight and walking up to the floor his designated room was on.

* * *

Only about an hour had passed since they'd all gone to bed and L had not found the need to sleep after he'd showered, so he was sitting on his bed and reading through a case file in the bad lighting from a side lamp, it wasn't as if he'd be screwing up his eyesight any worse than he did sitting on his computer in a pitch black surrounding.

As he turned a page between two poised fingers, a faint knock sounded on his door and he looked up, eyes first and then raised his head and frowned.

He left the file as he it was as he got off the beds edge and walked across the room to his door, he opened it half way and peeked out, seeing who it was, he opened it wider and raised his eyebrows, thumb to his mouth by habit,

"Matt, is everything alright?" he asked the red head who looked exactly the same as earlier. Red hair limp around his face and pin straight, skin pale and eyes bright and green.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something." He smiled slightly.

L smiled back and stepped back inside, leaving the door for Matt to enter and close behind him, he walked back over to his bed and settled down where he'd been before, he wore his usual white T shirt but instead of his jeans he wore a loose plain colored pajama pants.

"I had assumed something was wrong, I noticed you were distracted. What's bothering you?" he closed the case file, giving Matt undivided attention.

Matt hardly ever received that sort of attention from anyone, even Mello never put him first when they were completely alone or any other time.

Matt leaned back against the door, not moving from that spot, fiddling with his blue T shirt hem and his pants drawstring at the same time,

"You know how…Mello and Near are…well, they just want to succeed you…?" he asked loud enough that L would hear him.

L stared at him and then stood and walked over to his tea tray and tested if it was still warm enough to drink by placing his thin hands around the bulbous part of the pot. Feeling its warmth, he proceeded to make two cups of tea from everything Quillsh had left in his room.

"Yes, Matt why don't you sit down instead of standing at the door, are you uncomfortable?" he glanced over his shoulder and saw Matt move slowly toward him,

"I don't feel like sitting…" he responded and leaned against the wall next to the rolling trolley that L made tea on top of,

"Very well…" he looked at Matt when he handed him a cup, warm and sweet, not that Matt liked it that way, but L did, so tough cookies. Matt took it and left the small saucer down on the tray, thanking L quietly and sipping it, not phased by the sugar content.

L stared at him,

"You look taller…" he commented, noticing how Matt was almost his height, almost, L was rather tall.

"I am…I had my growth spurt, this is as good as I'm going to get." He smirked.

"Well, your taller than both Mello and Near…their heights will always remain that way too, should you need a reason to gloat." He smiled at Matt and sipped his tea, offering Matt short bread biscuits which he politely declined and continued sipping his tea.

He seemed thirsty…dry throat?

"…right…let's not digress, what was it that was bothering you?"

There was a moment of silence and then Matt placed his cup down and sighed, turning his green eyes to L's and holding his gaze,

"I…don't want to succeed you." He admitted.

L's face gave away nothing, but honestly, L wasn't surprised and he nodded,

"I had thought you might feel that way, since Roger informed me that since last year. Your grades have decreased and he says you skip classes and all academic events all together. I had thought that perhaps it was a rebellion of sorts…but I know you better than that…" he left his own biscuit down, deciding against it and sipped his tea, watching Matt who stared intently at him.

"Do you know me?" the question was straight forward.

"I should like to think I do…I make a point to learn about you all. I know your favorites and what you dislike. I know your worst traits and your best…"

"What's my best?" he asked smiling at L like he found it all amusing.

"Your ability to control your emotions so well, keeping them from affecting the people who are closest to you…is one." He added the end bit and then narrowed his eyes and placed his cup down as well, tapping his lip with a finger, "…just as you are doing now. Please Matt, you do not need to hide from me…"

Matt blinked a few times, smile fading.

"Everyone thinks I don't care…about you, about being you…"

"Being my successor has nothing to do with being me…" L stated quietly.

"Don't be so technical…you know what I mean…" he shrugged and L gave a roll of his eyes and a nod.

"…and well, I do, I always did. But it got to a point where I just knew I'd be out of the picture…Mello is smarter than me, never mind Near. I have the least interest in police work, I hate reading for longer than 30 minutes, so I'd never be able to do all night research on case files without blowing my brains out, I'm not a fan of 'school'…" he used his fingers to highlight this word, since Wammy's hardly offered a school environment.

"I understand, but is there a point, or was it that you don't want to be my successor anymore because it's not your interest. I will not look down on you for it, it's a choice given to you all, not a compulsory thing. I would never insist tha-"

"I know L…" Matt sighed, "…my point is, I do care. I've always cared…about what you think of me."

"And I've just told you."

"Yeah, but…then there's the difference."

"The difference to what?" L enquired.

"…to the way I care about you." He glanced at L.

"…explain please?" he wasn't demanding, but curious and light spoken as he now chewed his thumb.

"You remember the last time you came here and I asked you…if there was another place for me…in the L system?" he raised his eyebrows suddenly, feeling excited.

"Yes I do…you seemed very serious about it then."

"Is there?"

"Matt, I would like to stay on topic, what does that have to do with what you were just saying?"

"I want to be close to you." He confessed and stared at the floor, still against the wall.

"So you wanted to be taken into the L system to work closely with me…I have no objection to that, successor or no, a brilliant mind is never a hindera-"

"You don't get it…" he sighed and then pushed off the wall, "…it's fine though, it's just me anyway. I'm a teenager so this stuff won't matter to you…" he'd started walking to the door.

"Matt…I will not have you leave this room having left unfinished conversations that make no sense." He stated and walked after Matt, but with slow steps.

Matt stopped and turned around, staring at L,

"I don't care about working for you…I want…to be close to you." He said again, not willing to put it any different way, L was a genius with a confidential IQ, he should put two and two together.

"That's vague…that may mean many things…" L seemed to glaze over, brain trying to put each thing to a category. Matt saw this momentary lapse of consciousness to his personal bubble and stepped twice forward, closing the gap.

He kissed L's lips weakly, no confidence to do much else, he pulled back immediately and stared at L who had not shifted from his original stance, except his eyes were now focused directly on Matt.

Matt took a sharp breath and did the small weak kiss again, shaking hands were clenched as he did it again, slower and pressing slightly harder…

Until L's hand came to his chest and very lightly pushed him back, Matt's small flood of adrenalin shot cold through him now as he took a shaken breath. Fail.

L stared at him,

"I see now what you mean, it had honestly been at the bottom of my list of possibilities…since when?"

"…around 15, when I fell asleep on your lap when it was raining, Mello was sick and I had nothing to do."

"Puberty has done its worst I hope."

"Not nearly…you don't want me to go in detail about my dirty thoughts since then. I have a vivid imagination and an unusually intense sex dri-"

"Matt! Please…" L raised a hand and Matt looked around and raised his arms slightly then they fell back to his sides,

"So that's it…"

"You're very presumptuous besides, you have no clue what sexual orientation I practice."

"…wasn't rocket science…and I can do rocket science."

"Are you saying you know I am a homosexual?" L raised an eyebrow.

"I'm saying that there's more than a 50% chance."

L remained silent.

Matt decided to try one more time,

"L…you know this isn't a sexual impulse. I roomed with Mello for ages and never once have I looked at him as anything but crazy awesome Mello." His voice still held a deep affection even when bringing Mello up at that point and L put his palm over his mouth and sighed before removing it,

"That's exactly what I assumed of you and him."

"I've only thought of you and never wanted to try and do it with anyone else."

"Why me? I'm hardly something to interest a healthy sexual, youthful mind. You know nothing of me…you've seen nothing of me…this is purely your own minds over stimulation…"

"And I'm old enough to admit that and accept that and confess to you that I…want more."

L scoffed and shook his head,

"I never once thought I'd hear something like that from you."

"Of course not, because my emotions don't affect anyone else around me L." he reminded L of his own words.

When L made no movement and said nothing, he simply stared at the floor, thinking in a casual manner about what he might do, Matt walked closer again and L raised his eyes, but Matt didn't close the space between them all that much,

"…I'm not asking for anything too…intense, tonight or too soon, I came up here to tell you how I feel, what I've been thinking and ask you about that position in the L system…"

"Is that your route to getting to know me?"

"Spending every day with you in your element and I'll be serving a purpose." He encouraged.

"Matt, I cannot promise it will lead to anything…that you want."

"Do you like me?"

"No…I love you." L informed him and Matt rolled his eyes,

"Okay, not like…that. Could you…like me? Find me attractive? Did it repulse you when I kissed you?"

L stared at him,

"Yes, you are attractive and likeable…and I was not repulsed." He answered honestly.

Only L could make a blushing moment seem like a meeting with Interpol.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"…Matt…"

"Please…come on…your acting like I want to get married."

"Exaggerating the possibilities to me will not make this request seem any less complicated than it is."

"For fucks sakes L!" he sighed and grabbed L by the front of his shirt but didn't do anything else until he smiled shyly at L's frown, "…well, can I?"

It was an odd request after all that…

"I…suppose…" L resigned.

When Matt pressed his lips to L's again, it was still tentative but Matt was smiling and his green eyes were closed, his fingers holding L's white shirt a little tighter as pleasurable butterflies and tingles ran through his body.

Then he parted a bit and smiled at L, opening his eyes,

"…repulsed?" he enquired.

"…no." L replied.

And this time when Matt leaned in, L did too and initiated the opening of their mouths, which Matt easily went along with and L noticed how the sugar had stained Matt's mouth, making it even less unsettling.

It was only a kiss. But for Matt it represented the possibility of not having L ripped away from him completely, like he knew would have happened when a successor was chosen and L never needed to return to Wammy's or England. It wasn't love, but attraction and to Matt, that meant the possibilities were wide open for himself and L.

L held a comfort for Matt, his smell was warm a sweet, familiar, his words were sincere, his opinions were honest. And L wasn't bad looking at all, Mello had once pointed that out to Matt sometime after he'd started crushing on L and it had put things into perspective.

Also…after some nights spent alone with nothing but his hormones, a memory of smell and the physical closeness he had experienced to help him sate his teenage needs, perspective came pretty easy. Gay…I like L. Or the other way round.

After a few noises between their wet mouths made L's spine tingle he pulled back and let out a deep breath as Matt looked at him, a little dazed but still aware.

"Interesting."

"…that's it?" Matt seemed disappointed, "…I was doing my best, I've never kissed anyone before you know." He frowned and felt a bit lost as L stared at him,

"I didn't mean that…I meant…that….perhaps, I may not be…adverse…to this." He half mumbled and Matt grinned, seeing how L's eyes widened, his black air always so soft and falling all over his head, he looked almost confused even though he wasn't.

"How old are you?" Matt enquired.

"…I'm…in my late twenties."

"How late?"

"…27." He told the teen as he took a walk from Matt to the window where the first signs of grey morning sky were visible.

"L…I'll wait till I'm 18…so you'll feel better about it. I won't put any pressure on you…"

"What if you come to realize that you do not like me…?" he asked a logical question. "…then our relationship that we have now will be lost to something so silly."

"I don't think attraction, sexually or emotionally, is silly." He told L with a serious look, "…but if, for any reason, it doesn't work out…then…then…"

"Then?"

"…" Matt panicked, L seemed ready to cave if he just gave the right answer, "…it'll be my fault L, I'll take responsibility…" he didn't know what else to say.

L sighed,

"We will not go further than what's just happened now…" L stated and he saw Matt's eyes blink rapidly and a sudden hurt filled them.

He thought L was shooting him down?

"…in future, we will keep it at this…unless, after much time has passed and you've been out in the real world, experienced people and activities and are of age. Should you then decide that you still want more with me and I find I am still keen on the idea, then we shall proceed." He watched Matt's relief over take his youthful face.

The boy said nothing and then smirked,

"So I don't get to be L, or be like L…I get to be with L."

"There is a large 'maybe' within this situation." He reminded but Matt wasn't interested and L found it almost endearing…and then Matt went ahead and kissed him again.


End file.
